the 215

CW: mass murder of children, child sexual assault, systemic racism I am not one of the Canadians who deny that the genocide we inflicted on indigenous people happened. Recently the remains of 215 children were found at one of hundreds of former residential school sites. These schools were sanctioned by the government, and staffed by […]

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Survivors of Incest Anonymous

SIA has been very helpful to me. It’s an anonymous support group with a good structure for survivors of childhood sexual abuse by a family member or someone known to the family. It’s based on the 12 steps of AA, which focus on personal responsibility, and accepting help from something greater than yourself. This something

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Rape dreams and release

So I had ‘fending off rape dreams’ this morning, three consecutive ones. Not a big surprise, given how angry I’ve been lately. I tend to have ‘monsters/men are hurting me’ dreams when I’m angry. In my dreams I was successful at fighting the men off and not so successful at getting the police involved. My

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Survivor reaction after massage

Predictably, I felt vulnerable and emotional most of the week, after even a simple, tiny amount of compassionate work on my strangulation-surviving neck. It felt like pms. I cried easily and felt fragile, distracted and touchy. Makes me wonder if I really want to get into this right now… Although I know there’s no time

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SwordDanceWarrior on Twitter

I set up a twitter account for my SwordDanceWarrior identity and am posting my new blog posts plus a sort of ‘greatest hits’ from older posts on it. I wanted to encourage traffic to the blog, since I really like the discussion with other survivors via comments. If you tweet and wish to follow it,

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Transition Point

She walks toward swords held crossed above her head kilt swinging strong legs, proud back the bagpipes drone and wail, supporting her carying within it the voices of ancestors the strength of traditions of a proud people who tolerate no dishonour Stopping at the grave site laying the swords crossed before her her sword of

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Highland Dancing History

Excerpted from: Wikipedia Highland Dancing Description HIGHLAND FLING As was traditional of the old kings of Scotland, Highland dancing was used to choose the best men for their men at arms.  These dances tested the culminate of warrior skills including accuracy, agility and stamina.  Prospects danced upon a small round shield (called a Targe) and

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Getting to Core

I just reread my last two posts (and found and fixed some typos). Getting to certainty is important. When I read Tarot, I get myself calm and centred, and then reach down to my roots and dwell there. This helps me be grounded in my intuition and my connection to the Goddess. If I don’t

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Perseverence continued

I did my full voice workout today, after a couple of days missing it. It felt good. I’m getting better at relaxing the muscles in my neck and remembering to keep my knees unlocked. I’m able to focus more. I changed the room I’m practicing in too, which seems to help.

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Wierd News

<–Warning – first sentence may be triggering —? When I was a teenager I remembered being sexually molested, touched under my panties, by a babysitter. I found out today, that the person I thought might be this babysitter has died. He’d died homeless, due to complications of severe alcoholism and cancer. I hadn’t known he’d

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