CW: mass murder of children, child sexual assault, systemic racism I am not one of the Canadians who deny that the genocide we inflicted on indigenous people happened. Recently the remains of 215 children were found at one of hundreds of former residential school sites. These schools were sanctioned by the government, and staffed by …
This healthy relationship stuff is exhausting, y’all. With all of the pandemic and holiday stress I’m just pretty fried. I’ve been in a relationship with a new human for about 6 months now. Isn’t that when several of my other relationships went to hell, you say? Actually, you aren’t saying it but my unconscious sure …
Earning Secure – Checking assumptions, asking for what I want Read More »
Oh my Goddess I hate setting boundaries. It makes me anxious. But do you know what I hate more? Not setting boundaries. I have begun a new relationship. She is wonderful, we are in love and so many of my needs are being met. It feels like this could be a secure relationship. Boundary setting …
SIA has been very helpful to me. It’s an anonymous support group with a good structure for survivors of childhood sexual abuse by a family member or someone known to the family. It’s based on the 12 steps of AA, which focus on personal responsibility, and accepting help from something greater than yourself. This something …
This is awesome, and I agree with everything she says. I sure hope this 13 year old child is not having sex, but, I think it’s very a good idea for a 13 year old child to be as literate about a culture that supports rape as she seems to be. Good for her. I …
Link between slut shaming, rape culture and child sexual abuse – education from a child Read More »
So I had ‘fending off rape dreams’ this morning, three consecutive ones. Not a big surprise, given how angry I’ve been lately. I tend to have ‘monsters/men are hurting me’ dreams when I’m angry. In my dreams I was successful at fighting the men off and not so successful at getting the police involved. My …
Predictably, I felt vulnerable and emotional most of the week, after even a simple, tiny amount of compassionate work on my strangulation-surviving neck. It felt like pms. I cried easily and felt fragile, distracted and touchy. Makes me wonder if I really want to get into this right now… Although I know there’s no time …
I set up a twitter account for my SwordDanceWarrior identity and am posting my new blog posts plus a sort of ‘greatest hits’ from older posts on it. I wanted to encourage traffic to the blog, since I really like the discussion with other survivors via comments. If you tweet and wish to follow it, …
This video really sums it up. I wish I could just play it for people like the idiot guy I met who said “men are raped by women just as often as women are by men, they just don’t report it”. I was flabbergasted. Those of us who are survivors know what the impact is …
EQUALS: Belated post for International Women’s Day Read More »
I was included in this month’s carnival against child abuse. My post “Car Crash” about the truth of what it is like to have PTSD was listed after the main topic entries. For those who don’t know what a carnival is, it’s a thing where people send in submissions of blog entries on a theme …
This is another excerpt from what I’ve been writing this month for national novel writing month. I can’t seem to make much of a transition to fiction again this year. Some of this is blatantly ripped off from my life, but it’s interesting to see it from the perspective as part of a story. Those …
A Sexual Abuse Survivor’s RCMP statement – novel Read More »
“Scars do not bother me. They are the laurels of the survivor” – Patricia Briggs – Silver Borne
She walks toward swords held crossed above her head kilt swinging strong legs, proud back the bagpipes drone and wail, supporting her carying within it the voices of ancestors the strength of traditions of a proud people who tolerate no dishonour Stopping at the grave site laying the swords crossed before her her sword of …
Excerpted from: Wikipedia Highland Dancing Description HIGHLAND FLING As was traditional of the old kings of Scotland, Highland dancing was used to choose the best men for their men at arms. These dances tested the culminate of warrior skills including accuracy, agility and stamina. Prospects danced upon a small round shield (called a Targe) and …
I’m planning to rent a bus to drive up to my father’s grave with all the survivor friends I can muster. So far I have about six, including my Aunt. (He’s not dead yet, but a girl can hope.) I’m thinking of having a road trip CD. When we got married, I spent months crafting …
Soundtrack for a Survivors Sword Dancing Road Trip Read More »
I just reread my last two posts (and found and fixed some typos). Getting to certainty is important. When I read Tarot, I get myself calm and centred, and then reach down to my roots and dwell there. This helps me be grounded in my intuition and my connection to the Goddess. If I don’t …
I did my full voice workout today, after a couple of days missing it. It felt good. I’m getting better at relaxing the muscles in my neck and remembering to keep my knees unlocked. I’m able to focus more. I changed the room I’m practicing in too, which seems to help.
<–Warning – first sentence may be triggering —? When I was a teenager I remembered being sexually molested, touched under my panties, by a babysitter. I found out today, that the person I thought might be this babysitter has died. He’d died homeless, due to complications of severe alcoholism and cancer. I hadn’t known he’d …