Health and Sexual Abuse Survivors

Self-Advocating for Medical Care for Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse.

Exercise

I just did a rather mild exercise session to an online video: http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/you-diet-beginners-workout I didn’t make it through without crying. I think I stopped half way, doing the floor exercises. It seemed to be the  ‘holding on’ part of the exercise that got me. The part where you’re in mild discomfort from laying down and …

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Icing my vulva

I’ve had pain and itching in my vulva for most of my life.  I’ve worn out holes in the fronts of underwear from scratching. This, I’ve found through some recent reading, is actually pretty common with vaginal injuries like mine. This summer, when I found out about the two tear scars and vascular damage, it …

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The Scars to Prove It

In therapy today I talked about how I’m still trying to integrate the scars I saw into my body image. It’s not like it’s a big change, I realize. I always felt there was something ‘wrong’ with my vagina/vulva and now I know. My assignments out of therapy are threefold. First, to think about what …

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Mothering her

I was reading Faith Allen’s excellent blog , specifically a post where she was responding to another person with dissociative identity disorder. She talked about self-nurturing, visualizing wrapping the younger self that holds a memory and feeling in a blanket, telling her it was not her fault. It brought tears to my eyes, sitting here, as …

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In the wake of proof

Knowing I have scar tissue has changed my life I think. It’s like an incontrovertable validation of what I’ve been saying all along. No longer can I doubt or go into denial about the accuracy of my memory. I know what happened and I was accurate all along. It is an immense relief. The other …

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Warrior Victorious in Pap Test

So the gyne visit went about as well as it could possibly go, and better than I could have envisioned. The nurse-practitioner I saw was very experienced and nice and drew the correct line between warm sympathy and matter of factness. She said we could take as long as we needed, and she did the …

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Warrior Schedules PAP Test

Okay, so I think I found a safe (to me) place to get a gyne exam. I found out through some friends that the community health centres have nurses that do pap tests, who are allowed to schedule longer appointments than doctors (who under our health system are allowed 15 minutes, if you can believe …

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Pap test, anyone?

Okay, so I went bravely forth today on my quest to find a doctor to do a pap test. Like many survivors, I haven’t had a gyne exam in several years, in my case, about 8.  I haven’t had (or thankfully, needed) any other medical care during that time. I have recurrent yeast infections (or …

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