I went out to ‘Trouble with the curve’ tonight with my wife. This story of a relationship between a father and daughter and it’s impact on her life really touched me. Wierd eh? My father is a sociopath, Clint Eastwood’s character is crusty but quite beautiful actually. There’s a scene where he beats a man […]
Grief, when you least expect it Read More »
I was left a very thoughtful comment today in response to my post about why I’m not going to have children because my father is a sociopath. In Balbrouchan’s comment, which you can read here, she brings up some good issues. The first is that socipathy isn’t 100% inheritable, since she and I are not
This weeks post is a result of re-reading some an old comment I made on a website about childbirthing when you are a survivor. I’ve never birthed or raised a child, and don’t plan to. When I was younger, I had a strong aversion to the tearing that always happens during childbirth. I had some
Sociopathy is inherited – choosing not to have children Read More »
This is a rant about Father’s day. I know most of you reading are survivors, so you probably get where I’m coming from. I’m ranting here so I don’t do it on facebook, where many of my friends and in-laws are gushing about their good fathers living or dead. Yes, I know a lot of
Father’s Day is not a happy holiday for Incest Survivors Read More »
I just finished bringing my father / abuser’s file to the attention of the RCMP in connection with some murders of young women that have been happening in and around my home town during the time my family has lived there. I used an online tip form, because it seemed a lot easier to write
-Likely to be triggering – As I’ve written about before, my father is a sociopath, a person without empathy or conscience. I don’t mean this merely as an insult, but as a literal fact. This means that he has no internal limits on his behaviour. As a result I have to wonder what else he’s
Do I report my sociopath father to the police? Again? Read More »
Here’s what I have learned in 25 years of healing, about the topic of forgiveness as relates to survivors of childhood sexual assault by a family member or other sexual predator. 1) People who rape kids are outside the range of what forgiveness cultural practices were designed for. People who haven’t survived childhood sexual abuse
What I learned about child sexual abuse and forgiveness. Read More »
[Note: Since I first wrote this, this piece has gotten a lot of attention for being a really good way to explain to people in your life what it’s like to have PTSD and Complex PTSD in particular and why there aren’t any quick fixes. I hope it’s helpful for you and your loved ones.]
Car Crash – or what PTSD is like – novel Read More »
So I did end up talking to a lawyer about my father and the scar tissue last night, but not in the way I expected. I asked a friend of mine, who is a lawyer about how I might go about finding a suitable lawyer. She asked what about and we got into it. She
Talking to a lawyer Read More »
I haven’t been on this blog much lately because I was writing my novel. I did it! I finished 50,000 words in one month. Yay for me. I took a break from the singing practice during novel writing month and hope to come back. [Abuse triggers] Lately the big issue for me is strangulation. I’ve
Body Memories of Strangulation Read More »
Why is it I can get so much done at work on a computer and the rest of my time I don’t live my life as exuberantly and richly as I want to? It is almost a year since I found out my dad had been in the hospital with a cancer recurrence for
I’ve just finished reading “Predators, paedophiles, rapists, and other sex offenders: Who they are, how they operate, and how we can protect ouraelves and our children” by Anna Salter, PhD.. This is not a book to read lightly, as it has quotes from abusers that can be pretty disturbing. However, I wanted to understand my
Walking to a friend’s house today, it occurred to me what I want from my father before he dies. Even better, I think I can get it. I want a signed confession. I want him to sign a paper, witnessed and legal, that says that he sexually abused his daughter. Here’s why I think I
A Signed Confession Read More »
I’ve been wracking my brains for weeks now, trying to ferret out what made my father do it. Was he a flawed man with some redeeming qualities who inexplicably got fixated on sexually abusing his daughter? Or was he a sociopath who merely pretended to be good sometimes, for appearances sake? The first theory presents
So it wasn’t just t-shirts that got me thinking the other night in my chocolate (and probably PMS) induced sleeplessness. I’m behind in my correspondence. It’s been years since I wrote dear old dad a letter, and him being (hopefully) close to his deathbed, perhaps it’s time to drop him a line. I sent him