[about the image – no it’s not me, but I am pissed off no one told me what I needed to know about Lichen Sclerosis and let it get this bad. There aren’t a lot of triggers in this post, except one brief mention of a sexual injury having occurred. ] So a few years […]
Lichen Sclerosis and Childhood Sexual Assault Read More »
I’ve been feeling disheartened lately. I’ve been practicing tantric yoni massage (no endorsement implied in the link, but the description seems about right, and it even mentions survivors), both on my own and with my wife and my lover. I have the injured vulva which has been very sore, and I end up crying throughout the
Benefits of being a sexual abuse survivor… Read More »
First off, the specialist did not help me assess the damage from the assault. I was disappointed. However, she did have a very credible theory for what could be causing my pain and took a biopsy to confirm. The biopsy was freaking painful and caused a lot of bleeding (they cut off a small piece
Better, stronger, faster than before. Read More »
I just found out I have an appointment with a woman obstetrician/gynecologist for May 10th. The doctor who set up the appointment for me thought that an obstetrician might be a good doctor to help me, as the tearing is similar to tearing from birthing. I can’t find much about her online, but she teaches
I have an appointment! Read More »
I am going to blow my own horn here. I did good. First, some background. I had sex for the first time with a new lover recently and my vulva was really not happy afterward, directly related to my injuries. First off, my lover did not respond well to being told I had scars/injuries on
How to get care for an vulva injured in childhood. Read More »
I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s recent book “Daring Greatly“. Most of the information is stuff I already know, but it’s good to review and there were some new bits. I recommend it for anyone wanting to learn about vulnerability and how to manage shame. She also has a number of TED videos which are excellent.
Bravery and Vulnerability Read More »
My wife nailed it. She said “there isn’t going to be a letter, she didn’t get what she wanted.” According to my aunt, my mom has allegedly written a letter in response to the one I wrote her a few years ago. That letter I wrote 3 years ago is of course out of date,
Okay, I seem to have it figured out. The yoga is great, but I found something even better. Just becoming aware of how often I clench the muscles of my sore, rape-injured body was a big first step. Now I’m learning to train my body not to do it. It helps that it doesn’t hurt
Eureka – take that, vulvadynia! Read More »
Remember when I wrote that I’d read that vulvadynia was related to constriction of blood flow in the pelvis? That makes sense to me as a survivor and I’ve been paying attention since I read it. I realize that I have habit of clenching this part of my body, particularly when I’m feeling pain, and
Goddess bless yoga – self care for survivors with vaginal injury Read More »
My vulva has been very sore the last several days. Over the years I’ve made several attempts to try and figure out what is wrong and fix it. As you may know, I was raped repeatedly as a small child, and my vagina/vulva was injured. From the scars and my memories of the pain, I’d
In my meditation walk, I suddenly had a flash that my new motto was “Free your vulva and the rest will follow”.
Free your vulva and the rest will follow. Read More »
Here’s a post from a place where I don’t feel like I’ve gotten a handle on all of the post-traumatic symptoms, although I have come a long way. Stages of my sexual life as a survivor: 1) Teenage – not going ‘all the way’ and enjoying all the sexual play leading up to intercourse. Being
What I learned about child sexual abuse survivors and sex and relationships Read More »
I’d like to summarize what resources and history I’ve gathered (or created) that might be helpful to other survivors. I went from someone who had an 8 year gap in both pap tests and dental work to someone who has had a pap test and a dental cleaning within the past year. I also successfully
What I learned about health care and sexual abuse survivors Read More »
I got my wife to take a picture of my vulva so I could see what I’m dealing with. A mirror is quite an awkward way to see one’s vulva if you’ve ever tried it. It was easier at the nurse’s office, but she had a magnifying mirror I think and a good light and
A picture is worth… Read More »
You know, it’s weird. In the aftermath of finding confirmation my vagina had been injured by the rapes, it’s actually empowered me to do something about the physical discomfort I’ve had on and off for a long time. It’s quite different to look at the pain as discomfort coming from an injury, than to think
Figuring out the vulva Read More »
Vulvodynia is a medical term for having persistent pain in your vulva that isn’t explained by the usual causes. You know what is so wierd? I just had gotten so used to the burning, itching and periodic pain, that I thought it was relatively normal. I’d gotten used to having to have sex in very
Vulvodynia and the power of the vulva Read More »