I’d like to summarize what resources and history I’ve gathered (or created) that might be helpful to other survivors. I went from someone who had an 8 year gap in both pap tests and dental work to someone who has had a pap test and a dental cleaning within the past year. I also successfully […]
What I learned about health care and sexual abuse survivors Read More »
In this post, I wanted to share what I’ve learned about night fears resulting from sexual assaults as a child and how to reduce them. I started out with night fears which were more of the usual type. I had a real sociopathic perpetrator, in my house, with real access to me, and I was
What I learned about night fears and sexual abuse survivors Read More »
I’ve been doing some new years resolutions, even though it’s not new years yet. As of Solstice, it’s a new year from the solar perspective, and that somehow seems more real than some calendar thing. It’s like the time between Christmas (or 5th day of Yule) and New Years is a rich transitional space, where
The Unexpected Benefits of Staying Warm Read More »
I thought I’d write a bit about some of the healing things I’ve learned in 22 years of clawing back the effects of being raped as a child from my life. One of the first and probably most important things I started working on was reclaiming a sense of being in my body. <possible religious
What I Learned about Grounding and Sexual Abuse Survivors Read More »
This is another installment of my novel, in progress. More pieces here. Sarah waited in a vinyl-covered, yet surprisingly comfortable chair at the edge of the central court. The mall quiet enough in this second week of December to worry even the most seasoned mall retailer. The windows were bright and filled with shiny sparkly
Girl in a blue velvet dress – novel Read More »
As a pagan, I don’t celebrate the birth of a god/saint/martyr from another religion as such. However I grew up celebrating Christmas, and all of my family does. It is a time of year when we all pretend for a few days, and gift giving, albeit with strings attached is a big part of that.
Some Christmas gifts are not worth the price Read More »
This is another excerpt from what I’ve been writing this month for national novel writing month. I can’t seem to make much of a transition to fiction again this year. Some of this is blatantly ripped off from my life, but it’s interesting to see it from the perspective as part of a story. Those
A Sexual Abuse Survivor’s RCMP statement – novel Read More »
[Note: Since I first wrote this, this piece has gotten a lot of attention for being a really good way to explain to people in your life what it’s like to have PTSD and Complex PTSD in particular and why there aren’t any quick fixes. I hope it’s helpful for you and your loved ones.]
Car Crash – or what PTSD is like – novel Read More »
“Scars do not bother me. They are the laurels of the survivor” – Patricia Briggs – Silver Borne
Scars are the Laurels of the Survivor Read More »
It’s one in the morning, and I can’t sleep. I’m regretting the bar of chocolate I ate at the movie, whose caffeine might be what is keeping me awake. Mydog is ecstatic to be on my lap rather than in her bed beside our bed, but is interfering with my typing, as seems to be
Honour is what you know to be true about yourself Read More »
This picture is of someone’s real wedding canopy, it’s called Magical White Wedding by Ronsho, from Flickr. Our wedding was magical. It was a blessing of us and of our families. It would be so hard to separate out again, to lose touch with her family, who have become my family in a way mine
I’m feeling a bit stuck for what to write. It’s like I’ve got no-one to talk to. All my friends are also at least partly friends with my wife, and the stuff I have brewing inside me is about the details, the nitty gritty of our relationship – our sex life, monogamy, and desperate hopes
I haven’t been writing because I’ve got a lot going on but most of it is not particularly survivory, and is private in that it involves more than just me. I’m still doing the music, still struggling with continuing to rehearse, but I’m taking weekly voice lessons. I got the number of a piano teacher
A few days ago at my woman’s camp I performed my ‘scars to prove it’ song. I wrote a new ending for it. Here’s the version I performed below. I got a standing ovation. At the intermission two women came and cried in my arms (which was fine and an honour). That night several women
I performed my ‘scars to prove it’ song Read More »
I’m heading off to a camp I enjoy for a week or so, run by some Goddess-oriented gals. It tends to charge me up, but there is a possibility, since I unfortunately joined the somewhat drama-filled organizing committee this year, that it will not be as nourishing. Not doing that again. Anyhow, I’m going, and
Feminist Vitamin Camp Read More »
Today was the first day alone I’ve had since I got back from my trip to see my relatives. My house is a mess, something that if I don’t deal with soon, will probably put me at odds with my wife. I spent most of the day in bed reading, broken up but largely context-less
Well, I went back east for a week to visit my moms siblings, my dad / abuser’s sister and a bunch of cousins and second cousins. It went very well, and I got a lot of loving supportive connection and reconnection and lots of validating and useful information. I’ve been researching sociopaths lately and am
Don’t panic, it’s not MY family, it’s my wife’s. However, in the wake of my mother’s stalker-like note, I’m a bit twitchy about family. I normally like my wife’s family, they’re religious (in that gay-hating, women oppressing way, not the good way) but we stay away from that and they don’t tell us we’re going