Family members of incest survivors come in three main types: abusers, accomplices/condoners, and bystanders. Bystanders are the most possible to have an adult relationship with but will have some denial, minimization and blame to get in the way. The other two categories are basically a lost cause. There is a fourth type of course, other survivors within the family. This isn’t my experience, or at least not that my brothers have acknowledged, so I haven’t written about that. Posts are sorted with the most recent ones first, so if you prefer to read chronologically, you can go to the archives section at right.
My therapy session today was unexpectedly intense yesterday. I’ve been giving myself a hard time lately about not being able to persevere. In general, particularly with certain things like learning physical skills, if I meet resistance or difficulty, I have a lot of trouble continuing on in spite of it (except in certain thing, or things […]
Walking to a friend’s house today, it occurred to me what I want from my father before he dies. Even better, I think I can get it. I want a signed confession. I want him to sign a paper, witnessed and legal, that says that he sexually abused his daughter. Here’s why I think I
A Signed Confession Read More »
I’ve been wracking my brains for weeks now, trying to ferret out what made my father do it. Was he a flawed man with some redeeming qualities who inexplicably got fixated on sexually abusing his daughter? Or was he a sociopath who merely pretended to be good sometimes, for appearances sake? The first theory presents
So it wasn’t just t-shirts that got me thinking the other night in my chocolate (and probably PMS) induced sleeplessness. I’m behind in my correspondence. It’s been years since I wrote dear old dad a letter, and him being (hopefully) close to his deathbed, perhaps it’s time to drop him a line. I sent him
November 22nd. I have come to understand that my mother knew and chose to do nothing. When I was 18 or thereabouts, I wrote my mother a letter telling her what my father had done to me. That he’d raped me and sexually abused me, beginning when I was quite young and continuing for years.