I subscribe to the theory that what we are attracted to in a mate is often a reflection of both the ways we’ve learned to accept love as children and the unfinished business we have with people who were close to us as children. And of course, by ‘we’ I mean me.
Dating your parents (no not literally, thankfully!) Read More »
Surprize! Getting the inflammation in my vulva down to a dull roar did not instantly fix my sex life. Surprize! Struggling while trying to restore my vulva to the state the Goddess intended for it brings up unexpected daddy issues. Surprize! The God makes a reappearance. Surprize! People can be exceptionally kind sometimes when you
Herne’s blessings – vulva healing and sexuality Read More »
What a miracle this steroid cream is! I put it on and within an hour, I feel something I’ve never felt before. The pain, of burning and heat is replaced by a delicate feeling of wholeness, gentle presence and delicate fine-edged sensation. The feeling of gentle spray from my hand-helf shower head as I clean
The painless vulva miracle Read More »
So I had my follow up visit with the gyne specialist last Friday. Here’s the skinny. I do not have planus lichen (SO glad I went ahead with the biopsy!) Instead I have a ‘chronic inflammatory skin condition’ of the vulva. Basically, she said that the technician could see that I had a chronic inflammatory
Treatment and healing – chronic vulva inflammatory condition Read More »
So this thing that makes my vulva and vagina feel like it has a bad sunburn (sometimes a healing itchy one, sometimes a fresh hot painful one) is an autoimmune disorder, so I’m looking into autoimmune disorders to see what I can do to self-manage and care for my body. I don’t like the idea
Autoimmune Disorders and PTSD Read More »
Do you have a friend, relative or lover who survived childhood sexual assault? Here’s 6 of the top 10 things not to say or do. 1) Breaking the kvetching order – Don’t expect the survivor to provide emotional support to you about your feelings about their trauma. Go to other people with that. Support her
What not to say to survivors of childhood sexual assault… Read More »
I remember despairing of ever having a decent sex life, of ever actually wanting sex, of finding people who wanted me and would be good to me, with whom I could navigate the minefield that is survivor sex, so I thought I’d brag about how awesome things are so if that’s where you are right
Awesome Sexuality after surviving the worst Read More »
First off, the specialist did not help me assess the damage from the assault. I was disappointed. However, she did have a very credible theory for what could be causing my pain and took a biopsy to confirm. The biopsy was freaking painful and caused a lot of bleeding (they cut off a small piece
Better, stronger, faster than before. Read More »
Here’s an excerpt from the typed page I’m giving to the Ob/Gyn specialist later this morning: “What I am here for: 1) My goal is to improve my ability to mitigate the impact of my injuries on my sex life and daily level of pain and discomfort. I’d like help to figure out how not
Courage, Perseverence, Gratitude Read More »
If you believe in astrology, I can sum up my experience this morning with one phrase: I am a Sagittarius with a moon in Scorpio. This means that my inside and my outside aren’t always on speaking terms. My super open, transparent, honest to a fault Sagittarius outside persona is at odds with an inner
Care and feeding of the unconscious Read More »
My neck has been particularly seized up since I found out about the appointment with the gynecologist. Coincidence? Not likely. Since the assault that caused the tearing in my vagina also caused a neck injury, the two are definitely linked. I believe in the saying “trust in God(s) but tie your camel”, which means to
Rules of kvetching: applied to CSA survivors Read More »
I just found out I have an appointment with a woman obstetrician/gynecologist for May 10th. The doctor who set up the appointment for me thought that an obstetrician might be a good doctor to help me, as the tearing is similar to tearing from birthing. I can’t find much about her online, but she teaches
I have an appointment! Read More »
Note: This is probably triggering.It’s medical studies talking about vulva injuries in kids and how they heal. Read at your own risk. Here is a nice picture of a bunny to give you the opportunity to not read what is below if you don’t want to. I am doing some research to help find an
Information for childhood sexual assault survivors with vaginal/vulvar injuries Read More »
I am going to blow my own horn here. I did good. First, some background. I had sex for the first time with a new lover recently and my vulva was really not happy afterward, directly related to my injuries. First off, my lover did not respond well to being told I had scars/injuries on
How to get care for an vulva injured in childhood. Read More »
I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s recent book “Daring Greatly“. Most of the information is stuff I already know, but it’s good to review and there were some new bits. I recommend it for anyone wanting to learn about vulnerability and how to manage shame. She also has a number of TED videos which are excellent.
Bravery and Vulnerability Read More »
I went out to ‘Trouble with the curve’ tonight with my wife. This story of a relationship between a father and daughter and it’s impact on her life really touched me. Wierd eh? My father is a sociopath, Clint Eastwood’s character is crusty but quite beautiful actually. There’s a scene where he beats a man
Grief, when you least expect it Read More »
One of the things that is complicated about the polyamory community is our strange inability to talk about our love lives, since everyone we know that is poly is likely to be webbed up in some way with whomever we want to talk about. For example: I’ve been on three dates recently. All women are
I just got back from a camping trip with my wife. With her support, I burned several boxes of old journals, dating back from my childhood through the present. It took me three days. Now that I’ve decided not to sue the old hopefully soon to be dead bastard, I don’t need them any more.
Burning the Journals Read More »